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Hollynn St. Clair's avatar

I appreciate the differing perspectives you provide in this piece. This is the first of your writing I’ve read and I think the wider concept of this substack is fascinating. I’m excited to follow along for more!

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Emma Hemingford's avatar

Thanks Hollyn, that’s nice of you to say! I’m happy to have you here for the journey 🙂

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Cristina Carmona Aliaga's avatar

Very balanced and great at advice as always, Emma. You've offered the OG an opportunity to consider other perspectives. It's interesting that you receive, as you've said, more enquiries about friendship dilemmas than romantic conundrums and I wonder whether that's because we all change and evolve and getting used to the end of friendships as a result of those changes may still hard to accept, especially when there are no particular reasons for it other than we've grown in different directions.

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Mercedes MICELI's avatar

Wow! Really good and kind advice, I’m impressed. I’m in my 50s and had/have many a confusing dynamic with different friends throughout my life, and particularly my teens, which I still think about sometimes today. Realising that the ‘other’ has as many (maybe unconscious) thoughts and feelings about a friendship as you do yourself, and taking accountability for your role in the dynamic, helps with acceptance and shedding shame or guilt - always easier thought than done!

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Emma Hemingford's avatar

Thanks so much Mercedes - I’m glad it was helpful! You’re right, realising things and then really internalising them/acting on them is a long old process… I’m curious about all your friendships. I think friendship doesn’t get enough attention in literature/ discourse because it is so confusing and joyous too. Maybe one day you’ll write in to the column 😉

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Jam Canezal's avatar

Great writing, Emma. Really nuanced and I can feel that you took your time answering this. I think a lot of people will see themselves in this kind of dynamic. It’s not really talked about but you know it’s there.

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Emma Hemingford's avatar

Thank you Jam! Really glad you enjoyed. It’s a very recognisable dynamic, isn’t it.

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