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Jennifer Ward Dudley's avatar

Welcome ! The 7th decade isn’t so bleak. I promise. Fear of death !? I dwelled on as a child. My mother’s philosophy. Dying Is like being born and you can’t remember it. . didnt submerged my anxiety . Now 73 years. I’m not in a hurry to exit. Dying just seems tooo long and I’m very impatient

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Jennifer Ward Dudley's avatar

March 21. Hit my 74th in DC (home to son, daughter in law, Susanna grand 2 and IZ grand 22. Capitol still shines despite the Dark Demons . Au natural . No facelift. Perhaps traversing thru anxiety and depression fighting to an element of contentment was a natural gift , genetic and love of family. Still here

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Emma Hemingford's avatar

Love to hear that Jennifer! Enjoy your hard won contentment and sunshine 🌞

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Emma Hemingford's avatar

Thank you Jennifer <3 there's no hurry to exit!

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Glenn Brigaldino's avatar

... if I may dare say so (as a mid-60s person), you worry too much ? .....

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Emma Hemingford's avatar

Haha! You're not wrong Glenn, but sometimes that feels easier said than done. Any advice for me or my correspondent on how to keep the blues at bay?

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Glenn Brigaldino's avatar

Listen to the Blues !!!!

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Maria (Linnesby essays)'s avatar

This is great — thought-provoking and enjoyable and a bit comforting. Also, I didn't know that Rilke poem, and was so glad to have read it; thanks for the intro to that, too.

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Emma Hemingford's avatar

You're welcome. Thank you as always for reading so thoughtfully xxxx

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David Strachan's avatar

Excellent retirement advice from a thirty year old. I am both humbled and impressed!

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Emma Hemingford's avatar

Wow thanks David! Maybe there's an old soul inside me.

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Ramiro Blanco's avatar

"If you have experienced even a handful of these precious moments then perhaps you will have come as close to making sense of life as you were ever intended to."

Although it was a pleasure to read the entire post, that phrase sums it all up.

If I were 70 today, rather than anxiety, I'd probably feel a sense of relief that I wouldn't have to deal with the problems that lay ahead of us. I guess it would also be mixed with a bit guilt for putting the structures in place for causing those problems. The same guilt my generation should have a bit of today for creating this world of social media and phones that we've passed on to our children.

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Nicola Billington's avatar

I loved this, and the poem links. I struggle with SAD at this time of year - possibly exacerbated by moving to the North where we have 6 hours of daylight for weeks, it seems - but found the simple solution of trying to go out for a walk in those 6 hours every day. However cloudy, it's never as dark as it seems from the inside. I also love the idea of sitting down reading a book, and definitely fiction! Wonder if I'm too old for Miranda July?

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Emma Hemingford's avatar

You are definitely not too old for Miranda July! I hope it's not too dark in the north right now. But your line above - 'it's never as dark as it seems from the inside' was very poetic. Feels like a metaphor.

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Cristina Carmona Aliaga's avatar

This was such a comforting and uplifting read as someone who has always been preoccupied with the question of death and the passing of time.

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Emma Hemingford's avatar

Really glad you felt that way. My intention was to comfort but not everyone feels reassured by the same things...

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Maria Haka Flokos's avatar

Being between the two of you in age, I find the sentiments easy to empathize with. But what is only understood in time, is the feeling of losing one's powers to live well and fully before it is too late. That is a burden that gets heavier year by year, if circumstances are not favourable ie if one is not involved in projects that require full commitment, full enough to keep such thoughts at bay.

To suggest that one should find a hobby, or look up to ninety year olds who go sky diving for fun, is unrealistic. There are practical and small things one can do every day, but it takes work. Doing what you can, and little ventures to what is difficult, daily, is very helpful. I think realizing one is not alone in this goes a long way. No one is expecting to rate our performance, we are often our own worst judge. It helps to remember that our life is nobody's business.

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Emma Hemingford's avatar

Yes, totally agree Maria. I feel that fear already, and that's why I think advice that tells you to live every day to the full is unhelpful. And I agree with you too about the little things. The spirit of adventure can be found just as easily in small ventures as in Odysseus' epic travels. And as I said in the piece - sometimes things like skydiving aren't actually adventurous at all, you're just ticking a box that said 'adventure' without real thought.

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